Open letter to a cat

MJ, we have lived a few houses apart for several years now. I've petted you frequently, and you've rubbed up against me enough that a second cat could be knitted from the fur you've shed onto my pants. It's always nice to see you and I'm happy to stop to pet you, particularly when - as today - you sit on the porch meowing for attention.

But once the petting has started and you're purring, it is not necessary to suddenly leap up into the air as if you have never seen a human before, nor to run in blind panic into the bushes. This only confuses the humans around you.