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scott_sanfordWhat, more Jenny Everywhere already?Jenny Everywhere in
I Found Him on the Internet
by Scott Sanford; April 2022
Rainbow light erupted from nothingness and two figures stepping out of infinity into an ordinary apartment living room.
“It’s me!”, Jenny called.
“ADN ME!”, chirped her companion in a high falsetto.
Kim emerged from her bedroom and took in the sight of her roommate accompanied by a small hirsute humanoid barely half her height with a wild shock of runaway hair.
“Um, hello,” Kim said uncertainly.
“NIEC TO MET U!” it said gleefully. It was dressed in a lurid anime T-shirt and heavy boots; where Jenny had found it Kim couldn’t begin to guess.
“I don’t think I’ve met your friend before,” Kim said.
“I found him on the internet,” Jenny explained.
“I FOT ROBOTZ AND MET JENY EVEYWEER AND AND AND NOW WE R 2 SAV ANIME!!!” He bounced up and down in excitement.
“Yes, he sounds like the internet,” Kim acknowledged.
“I just went a few universes over to try to find the third season of the Bugendai no Jenī no Itarutokoro anime on DVD,” Jenny explained. “It turned out the Jiujinshan anime con is being held up by some industry AIs on strike wanting better working conditions. I just need some stuff to get through the convention center’s firewall so I can help them negotiate. Just a second...”
Jenny stepped into the kitchen, from which various odd noises emerged.
Kim considered this chain of events and said, “That sounds exactly like something that would happen when you went shopping.”
“I know, right? Life is so predictable sometimes.” Jenny called. “Anyway, I have to hurry back and get them a better spokes-robot; Smashbot 555 is a great fighting mech but isn’t much of a talker.”
Jenny emerged from the kitchen with the robot toaster in her arms. She set it down on the table, immediately caught it as it tried to run away, and after some wiggling managed to put it down on its top. It feet waved in the empty air, its power cord whipping back and forth.
“And you brought home an Oompa-Loompa?”
“I M LEET!”, their guest cried. “I M GRATETS TROLD!”
“Yeah. You know how you hear about internet trolls and they’re very rude humans being jerks? Turns out some of them are just trolls on the internet.” Jenny held the toaster in place and began digging through her pockets.
“COEM TO πCHAN WE HAV TROLDZ1!!
“I have so many questions yet so little desire for answers...”
“OMG WHATS THAT WHATS THAT WHATS THAT!” The small creature bounced up and down by the balcony door, grabbing at air and looking up at the wall above the door.
“What are you – oh, the spear?”, Kim asked.
“SPEER!!1”
“It’s just a spear,” she told him. “It’s decorative. For… whatever spear related needs come up.”
“U HAV A SPERE!”
“It’s just a piece of wood with a pointy bit on the end,” Jenny confirmed. “It’s not like we have the mystic Spear of Longinus in our apartment.”
“SPAER!!1”
Jenny paused and asked quietly, “That’s still safely locked up, right?”
Kim gave her a reassuring nod and asked the troll, “Why would you want a spear?”
“POINTY!!!”
Jenny shrugged. Not subtle.
“We won’t need a spear. Just a toaster,” she promised.
Jenny had laid out a Swiss army knife, tweezers, and some printed papers next to the toaster.
She popped open the crumb tray and reached inside; the toaster froze in place. With a few clicks more body panels opened, revealing more sophisticated robot parts than any normal toaster. She leaned over to read the instruction sheet.
“Okay, that’s easy; hold down safety interlock, reset master core DIP switch from 0001, ‘pet’ mode, to 0111, ‘cyber-intrusion’ mode, then cold reboot...” She poked at the innards of the toaster with tweezers, doing these things.
“The toaster is some kind of robot spy?”, Kim asked.
“Yeah. If you were a mad scientist and you were building a robot toaster, wouldn’t you give it computer network infiltration capabilities?” Jenny shrugged.
“No part of that is something I’d do.” Kim sighed and added, “But it does sound like something Eric or another mad scientist would do.”
“SUPR CYBER TOASTRE!!1”, agreed the troll.
“And you’re a computer expert now?”
Jenny hesitated and confessed, “Today, yeah. This me usually just uses them for writing and stuff. Other mes nearby get a lot more into it, and that can echo out to other worlds. Right now it means that I can recognize a lot of technical stuff as familiar if I want to remember those things. More generally, well, who do you think would name their search engine Goggle?”
Kim did the math on that and raised an eyebrow.
“Anyway, we should get back to the anime con,” Jenny went on, ignoring her housemate’s skepticism and rebooting the toaster, which emitted several electronic tones and beeps before stirring into motion.
“WE SAV ANNIME NOW!”
“I wish I had time to do a costume. Somebody said I looked like a character named Ackerman – Mikasa not Forey – but I’ve got to run.” Jenny gathered up the toaster and asked, “Want to come with us?”
“No, thank you. Ah, have fun storming the castle?”
“We will!”, Jenny promised with a huge grin.
With one hand on the troll and the other holding the toaster, Jenny Everywhere stepped forward out of the universe.
The character of Jenny Everywhere is available for use by anyone, with only one condition. This paragraph must be included in any publication involving Jenny Everywhere, in order that others may use this property as they wish. All rights reversed.
Commentary:
There's no grand plan for this; I just started typing a silly scene and one thing led to another. I’d been thinking about serious stories addressing serious themes, like a real literature-writing author; sometimes what appears instead is stuff like this.
I wasn’t sure why she brought home a troll; eventually I found out.
This troll character is inspired by Gokuu from the old web comic Elf Only Inn. Alas, very few internet trolls are much fun.
Similarly, I imagine Smashbot 555 to be as subtle and eloquent as Crushbot in Questionable Content.
Clearly a lot has been going on and we open with Jenny Everywhere appearing and dragging a wake of chaos and nonsense behind her. We close with Jenny headed off to spread chaos and nonsense to someplace else.
Symmetry there, and also Kim’s cue to quip, “Same old, same old.”
Oh, and as far as I know the anime character Mikasa Ackerman is not named after the famous science fiction fan Forey Ackerman.
I expect I’d watch the whole run of 無限大 の ジェニー の 至る所 (The Infinity of Jenny Everywhere) if it existed in this universe. Wouldn’t you?
< Back to Jenny Everywhere stories >
I Found Him on the Internet
by Scott Sanford; April 2022
Rainbow light erupted from nothingness and two figures stepping out of infinity into an ordinary apartment living room.
“It’s me!”, Jenny called.
“ADN ME!”, chirped her companion in a high falsetto.
Kim emerged from her bedroom and took in the sight of her roommate accompanied by a small hirsute humanoid barely half her height with a wild shock of runaway hair.
“Um, hello,” Kim said uncertainly.
“NIEC TO MET U!” it said gleefully. It was dressed in a lurid anime T-shirt and heavy boots; where Jenny had found it Kim couldn’t begin to guess.
“I don’t think I’ve met your friend before,” Kim said.
“I found him on the internet,” Jenny explained.
“I FOT ROBOTZ AND MET JENY EVEYWEER AND AND AND NOW WE R 2 SAV ANIME!!!” He bounced up and down in excitement.
“Yes, he sounds like the internet,” Kim acknowledged.
“I just went a few universes over to try to find the third season of the Bugendai no Jenī no Itarutokoro anime on DVD,” Jenny explained. “It turned out the Jiujinshan anime con is being held up by some industry AIs on strike wanting better working conditions. I just need some stuff to get through the convention center’s firewall so I can help them negotiate. Just a second...”
Jenny stepped into the kitchen, from which various odd noises emerged.
Kim considered this chain of events and said, “That sounds exactly like something that would happen when you went shopping.”
“I know, right? Life is so predictable sometimes.” Jenny called. “Anyway, I have to hurry back and get them a better spokes-robot; Smashbot 555 is a great fighting mech but isn’t much of a talker.”
Jenny emerged from the kitchen with the robot toaster in her arms. She set it down on the table, immediately caught it as it tried to run away, and after some wiggling managed to put it down on its top. It feet waved in the empty air, its power cord whipping back and forth.
“And you brought home an Oompa-Loompa?”
“I M LEET!”, their guest cried. “I M GRATETS TROLD!”
“Yeah. You know how you hear about internet trolls and they’re very rude humans being jerks? Turns out some of them are just trolls on the internet.” Jenny held the toaster in place and began digging through her pockets.
“COEM TO πCHAN WE HAV TROLDZ1!!
“I have so many questions yet so little desire for answers...”
“OMG WHATS THAT WHATS THAT WHATS THAT!” The small creature bounced up and down by the balcony door, grabbing at air and looking up at the wall above the door.
“What are you – oh, the spear?”, Kim asked.
“SPEER!!1”
“It’s just a spear,” she told him. “It’s decorative. For… whatever spear related needs come up.”
“U HAV A SPERE!”
“It’s just a piece of wood with a pointy bit on the end,” Jenny confirmed. “It’s not like we have the mystic Spear of Longinus in our apartment.”
“SPAER!!1”
Jenny paused and asked quietly, “That’s still safely locked up, right?”
Kim gave her a reassuring nod and asked the troll, “Why would you want a spear?”
“POINTY!!!”
Jenny shrugged. Not subtle.
“We won’t need a spear. Just a toaster,” she promised.
Jenny had laid out a Swiss army knife, tweezers, and some printed papers next to the toaster.
She popped open the crumb tray and reached inside; the toaster froze in place. With a few clicks more body panels opened, revealing more sophisticated robot parts than any normal toaster. She leaned over to read the instruction sheet.
“Okay, that’s easy; hold down safety interlock, reset master core DIP switch from 0001, ‘pet’ mode, to 0111, ‘cyber-intrusion’ mode, then cold reboot...” She poked at the innards of the toaster with tweezers, doing these things.
“The toaster is some kind of robot spy?”, Kim asked.
“Yeah. If you were a mad scientist and you were building a robot toaster, wouldn’t you give it computer network infiltration capabilities?” Jenny shrugged.
“No part of that is something I’d do.” Kim sighed and added, “But it does sound like something Eric or another mad scientist would do.”
“SUPR CYBER TOASTRE!!1”, agreed the troll.
“And you’re a computer expert now?”
Jenny hesitated and confessed, “Today, yeah. This me usually just uses them for writing and stuff. Other mes nearby get a lot more into it, and that can echo out to other worlds. Right now it means that I can recognize a lot of technical stuff as familiar if I want to remember those things. More generally, well, who do you think would name their search engine Goggle?”
Kim did the math on that and raised an eyebrow.
“Anyway, we should get back to the anime con,” Jenny went on, ignoring her housemate’s skepticism and rebooting the toaster, which emitted several electronic tones and beeps before stirring into motion.
“WE SAV ANNIME NOW!”
“I wish I had time to do a costume. Somebody said I looked like a character named Ackerman – Mikasa not Forey – but I’ve got to run.” Jenny gathered up the toaster and asked, “Want to come with us?”
“No, thank you. Ah, have fun storming the castle?”
“We will!”, Jenny promised with a huge grin.
With one hand on the troll and the other holding the toaster, Jenny Everywhere stepped forward out of the universe.
Commentary:
There's no grand plan for this; I just started typing a silly scene and one thing led to another. I’d been thinking about serious stories addressing serious themes, like a real literature-writing author; sometimes what appears instead is stuff like this.
I wasn’t sure why she brought home a troll; eventually I found out.This troll character is inspired by Gokuu from the old web comic Elf Only Inn. Alas, very few internet trolls are much fun.
Similarly, I imagine Smashbot 555 to be as subtle and eloquent as Crushbot in Questionable Content.
Clearly a lot has been going on and we open with Jenny Everywhere appearing and dragging a wake of chaos and nonsense behind her. We close with Jenny headed off to spread chaos and nonsense to someplace else.
Symmetry there, and also Kim’s cue to quip, “Same old, same old.”
Oh, and as far as I know the anime character Mikasa Ackerman is not named after the famous science fiction fan Forey Ackerman.
I expect I’d watch the whole run of 無限大 の ジェニー の 至る所 (The Infinity of Jenny Everywhere) if it existed in this universe. Wouldn’t you?
