Jenny Everywhere isn't in this
Apr. 21st, 2023 08:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scott_sanfordSay, what’s going on over at MFS this week?
At first I'd set this aside as useful filler, but there seemed to be interest in a Dynamite Thor tale. Sophie will return next week.
If anyone, especially Callum Phillpott, wants to write this off as non-canonical or just too silly, I will understand completely. * grin *
Jenny Everywhere
is staying a safe distance away from this
Set Up to Blow Up
by Scott Sanford; 2023
Dynamite Thor swaggered confidently through the halls with the conspicuous overconfidence of an experienced superhero and then, a hundred meters from the Mulitdimensional Finders Service offices, looked around to check that nobody was watching and changed direction, running in what he imagined was a stealthy manner toward his Secret Headquarters.
He always knew he was getting closer to the Secret Headquarters because of the smell of dynamite mixed in with the omnipresent odor of old carpeting. Soon he came to the entrance, a room much like any other except for the explosion-scorched wallpaper, shredded suspended ceiling, and a ragged hole in the floor three meters across. So, completely unlike any of the other rooms around it.
Fortunately nobody ever came over here. Dynamite Thor was sure of that, despite the occasional skittering noises in the distance, because nobody had done anything about the large hole even though it had been at least six months sinceThor accidentally blew up the floor it had mysteriously appeared one day.
He climbed down the ladder he’d left there, to the room below.
The wallpaper was hardly damaged at all here, a bland grey-tinged beige possibly different from the bland beige-tinged grey seen in the MFS offices.
Dynamite Thor paid it no mind and proceeded through the decoy room – which had some broken office furniture under a dimly flickering florescent lighting fixture, the better to distract attention – to the Secret Headquarters where he kept some of his best superhero supplies.
He liked the big main room, which was spacious and empty enough that he could practice his crime fighting skills, though the ceiling was too low for him to set off explosives indoors. (He still wanted to find an even bigger room for that.) Other rooms off to the sides held his dynamite supply, a few cases of grenades that he had accumulated over the years, his spare superhero costumes, his other dynamite supply, his workbench and tools for making Thor Signalers, and his emergency dynamite supply.
He strode in and struck a pose at the entry, his hands on his hips, sure that he made a fine sight, framed in the dark doorway with a pair of identical black seven-foot tall obelisks on either side. A while back Thor had gotten a “Therapy Prism” delivered from Kablamazon instead of the six cases of dynamite he’d ordered. They never even charged him for the dynamite so he figured he was ahead. He wasn’t sure where the other one had come from.
It was too bad there was nobody to appreciate the sight. The thought crossed his mind that he should bring Glenda down here, now that she had discovered that the superhero Dynamite Thor was really Peter Thor – and that was a secret he did not share lightly! Sometimes it seemed a lot of people suspected his secret identity, or confused Peter Thor with Dynamite Thor the superhero. But for today he was all alone.
“Hello,” said a voice behind him.
“Agh!”, he cried in heroic surprise, and then turned to see a woman standing right behind him, or in front of him now that he was facing the other way.
“Oh, hi, Miss Aaron!”, he said. “Erin? Did I get it right this time? Air Wan?”
“Close enough,” replied the woman who had introduced herself as Miss Erehwon several times and was tired of trying to correct him. “I have good news for you today, Dynamite Thor. I have found a supervillain for you, one who needs vigorous smiting!”
“Cool!” He grinned in anticipation.
“I believe you are up to the challenge,” she told him with a straight face. “Here, look at these pictures.”
She handed him two photos.
“This man is named Grallyx and is currently attempting to take over Kablamazon,” she lied.
Dynamite Thor studied the bald man in the picture carefully and completely failed to recognize either Captain Picard or Professor Xavier.
“If you can get close to him everything else should be easy, but your biggest challenge will be the woman,” Miss Erehwon continued. “She’s already infiltrated somewhere in the Kablamazon system and is a trained assassin. You should be very careful around her, and if possible never get too close. She likes to distract people by talking to them, getting them confused, and then attacking them while their guard is down.”
“Gosh.” Dynamite Thor studied the picture of a woman in a Kablamazon uniform who was also wearing a bright red scarf and, for some reason, a pair of goggles. She seemed oddly familiar.
“You must remember that she is very dangerous,” Miss Erehwon told him. “If you see her you should start throwing explosives immediately. Which reminds me: I’ve brought you a surprise.”
She turned and went over to a stack of wooden crates and a hand truck that wasn’t his, and gave him what might have been a teasing smile. She patted the hand truck’s handle without touching the wood of the crates and told him, “You can’t get these on the market any more, Thor. I’ve brought you several cases of vintage WWII Italian hand grenades!”
“Wow! All for me?” Dynamite Thor’s eyes shone with delighted anticipation.
“All for you!”, she assured him. “Use them in good health! Or bad health, for the girl.”
He hurried over and opened the topmost box, revealing bright red and silver cylinders that were not in any way filled with soft drinks. He eagerly added several to his utility belt, not noticing Miss Erehwon backing away slightly as he handled his new toys.
“I can for sure stop Grallyx with these!”, he enthused.
“Yes, him too, I guess,” she agreed.
“Oh, wait – how do I find them?”, he asked.
“As far as I know they’re at the Kablamazon headquarters right now,” she told him.
“I don’t know where that–” Dynamite Thor’s objection died as Miss Erehwon put a map into his hands. He saw that she had helpfully outlined Kablamazon headquarters with red marker, and even drawn in the best route for getting there from MFS. “Wow, you think of everything.”
“Of course I do. Now, get going and stop those evil villains. Crime waits for no superhero!”
“Right!” he said, vaguely confused about how he had gotten into this but completely confident that he was a superhero and that it was his purpose to fight crime.
He turned and strode for the exit, right there just past the Therapy Prism, and –
– and was in total darkness. Infinite blackness enveloped him for several heartbeats, then intensely pink text appeared with the message, “By visiting this universe you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, and you are not visiting this universe on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information and belief no information about this universe will make its way to Anish Kapoor.”
He felt a hand on his shoulder and was pulled backwards; suddenly he found himself in the Secret Hideout again.
“Please don’t do that,” Miss Erewhon told him coldly.
“Wow!”, he exclaimed. “What was that?”
“Nothing you need to worry about.” She regarded him with a calculating expression and added, “Unless you are Anish Kapoor?”
“I’m not a niche anything! I’m a superhero!”
“Good for you,” she told him, then turned him around bodily until he was facing the exit again. “Have fun blowing up the Kablamazon girl.”
“Oh, right!”, he said, remembering his mission. “Evildoers beware!”
Dynamite Thor heroically went forth out of his Secret Headquarters and was climbing up the ladder to the MFS office level when he heard a distorted mechanical wheezing noise. Realizing that something could be wrong, he dropped back down and hurried to check on things in the headquarters only to find that his visitor had already left.
He still had the whole stack of grenades she’d left though, and a glance around the room with its crime fighting gear and a prominent Therapy Prism didn’t reveal anything he noticed missing, so he shrugged and headed out again.
What was he forgetting?
Oh, right. His mission!
He headed back to the ladder again and once more cried, “Evildoers beware!”
More stories here
Afterword: Oh, dear. Dynamite Thor is headed out to do something unwise. Or, more likely, get distracted by something shiny. I’m sure he’ll be fine.
The Italian SRCM Mod 35 “Red Devil” hand grenade was well known in the European theater of World War II. There are two qualities a soldier wants in a grenade: First, that when he pulls the pin and throws it, it will go boom. Secondly, that it will not go boom at any other time. The Mod 35 was infamously bad at both of those.
23 April 2023: Aristide Twain was hit by an inspiration and wrote a prequel titled How To Steal Timeships & Influence Timelords, which you should definitely read.
The characters of Jenny Everywhere, Jenny Nowhere, and Jenny Over-there are available for use by anyone, with only one condition. This paragraph must be included in any publication involving Jenny Everywhere, etc., in order that others may use this property as they wish. All rights reversed.
At first I'd set this aside as useful filler, but there seemed to be interest in a Dynamite Thor tale. Sophie will return next week.
If anyone, especially Callum Phillpott, wants to write this off as non-canonical or just too silly, I will understand completely. * grin *
is staying a safe distance away from this
Set Up to Blow Up
by Scott Sanford; 2023
Dynamite Thor swaggered confidently through the halls with the conspicuous overconfidence of an experienced superhero and then, a hundred meters from the Mulitdimensional Finders Service offices, looked around to check that nobody was watching and changed direction, running in what he imagined was a stealthy manner toward his Secret Headquarters.
He always knew he was getting closer to the Secret Headquarters because of the smell of dynamite mixed in with the omnipresent odor of old carpeting. Soon he came to the entrance, a room much like any other except for the explosion-scorched wallpaper, shredded suspended ceiling, and a ragged hole in the floor three meters across. So, completely unlike any of the other rooms around it.
Fortunately nobody ever came over here. Dynamite Thor was sure of that, despite the occasional skittering noises in the distance, because nobody had done anything about the large hole even though it had been at least six months since
He climbed down the ladder he’d left there, to the room below.
The wallpaper was hardly damaged at all here, a bland grey-tinged beige possibly different from the bland beige-tinged grey seen in the MFS offices.
Dynamite Thor paid it no mind and proceeded through the decoy room – which had some broken office furniture under a dimly flickering florescent lighting fixture, the better to distract attention – to the Secret Headquarters where he kept some of his best superhero supplies.
He liked the big main room, which was spacious and empty enough that he could practice his crime fighting skills, though the ceiling was too low for him to set off explosives indoors. (He still wanted to find an even bigger room for that.) Other rooms off to the sides held his dynamite supply, a few cases of grenades that he had accumulated over the years, his spare superhero costumes, his other dynamite supply, his workbench and tools for making Thor Signalers, and his emergency dynamite supply.
He strode in and struck a pose at the entry, his hands on his hips, sure that he made a fine sight, framed in the dark doorway with a pair of identical black seven-foot tall obelisks on either side. A while back Thor had gotten a “Therapy Prism” delivered from Kablamazon instead of the six cases of dynamite he’d ordered. They never even charged him for the dynamite so he figured he was ahead. He wasn’t sure where the other one had come from.
It was too bad there was nobody to appreciate the sight. The thought crossed his mind that he should bring Glenda down here, now that she had discovered that the superhero Dynamite Thor was really Peter Thor – and that was a secret he did not share lightly! Sometimes it seemed a lot of people suspected his secret identity, or confused Peter Thor with Dynamite Thor the superhero. But for today he was all alone.
“Hello,” said a voice behind him.
“Agh!”, he cried in heroic surprise, and then turned to see a woman standing right behind him, or in front of him now that he was facing the other way.
“Oh, hi, Miss Aaron!”, he said. “Erin? Did I get it right this time? Air Wan?”
“Close enough,” replied the woman who had introduced herself as Miss Erehwon several times and was tired of trying to correct him. “I have good news for you today, Dynamite Thor. I have found a supervillain for you, one who needs vigorous smiting!”
“Cool!” He grinned in anticipation.
“I believe you are up to the challenge,” she told him with a straight face. “Here, look at these pictures.”
She handed him two photos.
“This man is named Grallyx and is currently attempting to take over Kablamazon,” she lied.
Dynamite Thor studied the bald man in the picture carefully and completely failed to recognize either Captain Picard or Professor Xavier.
“If you can get close to him everything else should be easy, but your biggest challenge will be the woman,” Miss Erehwon continued. “She’s already infiltrated somewhere in the Kablamazon system and is a trained assassin. You should be very careful around her, and if possible never get too close. She likes to distract people by talking to them, getting them confused, and then attacking them while their guard is down.”
“Gosh.” Dynamite Thor studied the picture of a woman in a Kablamazon uniform who was also wearing a bright red scarf and, for some reason, a pair of goggles. She seemed oddly familiar.
“You must remember that she is very dangerous,” Miss Erehwon told him. “If you see her you should start throwing explosives immediately. Which reminds me: I’ve brought you a surprise.”
She turned and went over to a stack of wooden crates and a hand truck that wasn’t his, and gave him what might have been a teasing smile. She patted the hand truck’s handle without touching the wood of the crates and told him, “You can’t get these on the market any more, Thor. I’ve brought you several cases of vintage WWII Italian hand grenades!”
“Wow! All for me?” Dynamite Thor’s eyes shone with delighted anticipation.
“All for you!”, she assured him. “Use them in good health! Or bad health, for the girl.”
He hurried over and opened the topmost box, revealing bright red and silver cylinders that were not in any way filled with soft drinks. He eagerly added several to his utility belt, not noticing Miss Erehwon backing away slightly as he handled his new toys.
“I can for sure stop Grallyx with these!”, he enthused.
“Yes, him too, I guess,” she agreed.
“Oh, wait – how do I find them?”, he asked.
“As far as I know they’re at the Kablamazon headquarters right now,” she told him.
“I don’t know where that–” Dynamite Thor’s objection died as Miss Erehwon put a map into his hands. He saw that she had helpfully outlined Kablamazon headquarters with red marker, and even drawn in the best route for getting there from MFS. “Wow, you think of everything.”
“Of course I do. Now, get going and stop those evil villains. Crime waits for no superhero!”
“Right!” he said, vaguely confused about how he had gotten into this but completely confident that he was a superhero and that it was his purpose to fight crime.
He turned and strode for the exit, right there just past the Therapy Prism, and –
– and was in total darkness. Infinite blackness enveloped him for several heartbeats, then intensely pink text appeared with the message, “By visiting this universe you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, and you are not visiting this universe on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information and belief no information about this universe will make its way to Anish Kapoor.”
He felt a hand on his shoulder and was pulled backwards; suddenly he found himself in the Secret Hideout again.
“Please don’t do that,” Miss Erewhon told him coldly.
“Wow!”, he exclaimed. “What was that?”
“Nothing you need to worry about.” She regarded him with a calculating expression and added, “Unless you are Anish Kapoor?”
“I’m not a niche anything! I’m a superhero!”
“Good for you,” she told him, then turned him around bodily until he was facing the exit again. “Have fun blowing up the Kablamazon girl.”
“Oh, right!”, he said, remembering his mission. “Evildoers beware!”
Dynamite Thor heroically went forth out of his Secret Headquarters and was climbing up the ladder to the MFS office level when he heard a distorted mechanical wheezing noise. Realizing that something could be wrong, he dropped back down and hurried to check on things in the headquarters only to find that his visitor had already left.
He still had the whole stack of grenades she’d left though, and a glance around the room with its crime fighting gear and a prominent Therapy Prism didn’t reveal anything he noticed missing, so he shrugged and headed out again.
What was he forgetting?
Oh, right. His mission!
He headed back to the ladder again and once more cried, “Evildoers beware!”
Afterword: Oh, dear. Dynamite Thor is headed out to do something unwise. Or, more likely, get distracted by something shiny. I’m sure he’ll be fine.
The Italian SRCM Mod 35 “Red Devil” hand grenade was well known in the European theater of World War II. There are two qualities a soldier wants in a grenade: First, that when he pulls the pin and throws it, it will go boom. Secondly, that it will not go boom at any other time. The Mod 35 was infamously bad at both of those.23 April 2023: Aristide Twain was hit by an inspiration and wrote a prequel titled How To Steal Timeships & Influence Timelords, which you should definitely read.
