Jenny Everywhere: Kung Fool
Dec. 31st, 2025 02:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scott_sanfordLet’s end the year on something fun.
Characters are getting out and about.
As with Late Night Caller, this piece reveals an unsurprising character point that's not been mentioned before.
Jenny Everywhere in
Kung Fool
by Scott Sanford; 31 Dec 2025
“I’m a reasonable guy, but I’ve just experienced some very unreasonable things.” – Jack, in Big Trouble in Little China
Everyone knows Chinatown, or thinks they do. There’s Grant Avenue for the tourists, and Stockton for anyone who actually lives in the city, but outside of that? A few tourists figure out how to find the Fortune Cookie Factory – it’s nothing much to look at from the outside – but it’s in one tiny alley in a neighborhood full of alleys and narrow streets. In a few steps you can go from a busy main street with a view of the Pyramid to an empty narrow brick passage where all the signs are in Chinese.
We were down yet another of those to broaden Eric’s horizons a little, and maybe even squeeze in some self improvement.
“Kim brought me here ages ago,” I told Eric as he tagged along beside me. “You wouldn’t think that she would be showing me around Chinatown, not to look at our faces, but that’s how it worked out.”
“The Kaine family has been known in Chinatown for a long time now, since before I moved to the city. Over the years several of them have taught martial arts.”
“And I need to learn to hit people?”, Eric asked, reasonably.
“You need to learn how to keep people from hitting you,” Kim corrected.
“ ‘The only use of Ti-Kwon-Leep is self defense,’ ” I quoted, doing the accent. I grinned at the other two, and got a blank look back. I sighed and said told Eric, “I’ve got something for you to listen to, later.”
I felt the universe burp and someone slammed into me from the side; I staggered and saw a man roll, bounce off the opposite wall, spring to his feet, and assume some kind of martial arts stance I didn’t recognize.
“Ho!”, he hooted. “You have hit me, Jenny Everywhere!”
“Some part of that is backwards,” Kim said coldly, stepping forwards. “And don’t threaten Jenny.”
“Do not obstruct, the wind that caresses wild bamboo!”, warned the man, maybe.
“Wait, what?” I looked over the guy in old fashioned Chinese clothes and a long braided queue; he did look familiar but I couldn’t place him, which usually meant he was known to other Jenny Everywheres but not this one. “Who are you again?”
“You must not, doubt the power of my, Donkey Style!” He shifted to some other martial arts stance and I took a step back. “You’re Kung Fu; is weak!”
“Hold on there, guy. Talk to us first. What’s all this about, anyway?”, I asked. I’m not a martial arts prodigy or anything and we had Eric to worry about, but I also felt a lot more concerned than frightened. At worst I’d take one punch from this guy – but then Kim would throw the second and that could be messy.
“You don’t know this guy?”, Kim asked.
“I don’t think so. He looks familiar, but…” I shrugged. “He’s not from around here.”
“I think this guy is one of yours,” Kim said. “He feels like one of the people who show up for you. How does he do that, anyway?”
“Do what?”
“That thing where his mouth doesn’t match the words he speaks.”
“I… don’t know,” I admitted. I hadn’t really paid attention, what with all the martial arts stuff.
“Your Kung Fu! Is pig dung!”, he proclaimed, and it was true – his lips didn’t move in synch with the noises he made. That was weird.
“Never mind him,” a voice called, “he’s one of mine!”
I looked over and there was a door into another street which hadn’t been there earlier. It didn’t feel like it went very far, and there was another of me standing there looking through.
“Sorry, other Jenny, he’s my nuisance,” I told me from the other side.
“It’s okay, this stuff happens all the time!”, I said, stepping out of the way so the guy could see me on the other side. Over there I was wearing a nifty red cheongsam that hugged me in all the best places and was slit way up, not the loose pants I had on here, and I figured he’d notice the difference. Also that I should go shopping for something sexy and silk, but later.
“No matter how often I see this, it’s still weird,” Kim remarked to Eric.
“Yeah, I believe it,” he agreed. “This is… pretty weird.”
“That’s a lesson for you, Tuólù,” I shouted, pointing dramatically. “I told you I’d punch you into another universe!”
“You, have struck me again!”, the martial artist declared. He took another pose and told me, “Unseen is, Butterfly Punch Technique!”
“And I’ll do it again if you don’t settle down and actually learn something!”, I yelled through the portal.
“Beware! The duck that quacks in the reeds!”
He rushed forward through the door and I saw myself take up a martial arts stance to receive him. Then the portal flickered closed, leaving only a bare brick wall.
“Heh, that was fun,” I said. It felt like I was going to handle the whole thing pretty easily, but this me was too many worlds away to catch any details now that I’d cut the connection.
“So… if I learn martial arts, is stuff like that going to happen to me?”, Eric wondered.
“No,” Kim said.
“Hardly ever,” I said.
“Although when you spend time with Jenny, yes, things like this will happen.” Kim said, smiling gently.
I could only nod.
Read other Jenny Everywhere stories
The character of Jenny Everywhere is available for use by anyone, with only one condition. This paragraph must be included in any publication involving Jenny Everywhere, in order that others may use this property as they wish. All rights reversed.
Characters are getting out and about.
As with Late Night Caller, this piece reveals an unsurprising character point that's not been mentioned before.
Kung Fool
by Scott Sanford; 31 Dec 2025
“I’m a reasonable guy, but I’ve just experienced some very unreasonable things.” – Jack, in Big Trouble in Little China
Everyone knows Chinatown, or thinks they do. There’s Grant Avenue for the tourists, and Stockton for anyone who actually lives in the city, but outside of that? A few tourists figure out how to find the Fortune Cookie Factory – it’s nothing much to look at from the outside – but it’s in one tiny alley in a neighborhood full of alleys and narrow streets. In a few steps you can go from a busy main street with a view of the Pyramid to an empty narrow brick passage where all the signs are in Chinese.
We were down yet another of those to broaden Eric’s horizons a little, and maybe even squeeze in some self improvement.
“Kim brought me here ages ago,” I told Eric as he tagged along beside me. “You wouldn’t think that she would be showing me around Chinatown, not to look at our faces, but that’s how it worked out.”
“The Kaine family has been known in Chinatown for a long time now, since before I moved to the city. Over the years several of them have taught martial arts.”
“And I need to learn to hit people?”, Eric asked, reasonably.
“You need to learn how to keep people from hitting you,” Kim corrected.
“ ‘The only use of Ti-Kwon-Leep is self defense,’ ” I quoted, doing the accent. I grinned at the other two, and got a blank look back. I sighed and said told Eric, “I’ve got something for you to listen to, later.”
I felt the universe burp and someone slammed into me from the side; I staggered and saw a man roll, bounce off the opposite wall, spring to his feet, and assume some kind of martial arts stance I didn’t recognize.
“Ho!”, he hooted. “You have hit me, Jenny Everywhere!”
“Some part of that is backwards,” Kim said coldly, stepping forwards. “And don’t threaten Jenny.”
“Do not obstruct, the wind that caresses wild bamboo!”, warned the man, maybe.
“Wait, what?” I looked over the guy in old fashioned Chinese clothes and a long braided queue; he did look familiar but I couldn’t place him, which usually meant he was known to other Jenny Everywheres but not this one. “Who are you again?”
“You must not, doubt the power of my, Donkey Style!” He shifted to some other martial arts stance and I took a step back. “You’re Kung Fu; is weak!”
“Hold on there, guy. Talk to us first. What’s all this about, anyway?”, I asked. I’m not a martial arts prodigy or anything and we had Eric to worry about, but I also felt a lot more concerned than frightened. At worst I’d take one punch from this guy – but then Kim would throw the second and that could be messy.
“You don’t know this guy?”, Kim asked.
“I don’t think so. He looks familiar, but…” I shrugged. “He’s not from around here.”
“I think this guy is one of yours,” Kim said. “He feels like one of the people who show up for you. How does he do that, anyway?”
“Do what?”
“That thing where his mouth doesn’t match the words he speaks.”
“I… don’t know,” I admitted. I hadn’t really paid attention, what with all the martial arts stuff.
“Your Kung Fu! Is pig dung!”, he proclaimed, and it was true – his lips didn’t move in synch with the noises he made. That was weird.
“Never mind him,” a voice called, “he’s one of mine!”
I looked over and there was a door into another street which hadn’t been there earlier. It didn’t feel like it went very far, and there was another of me standing there looking through.
“Sorry, other Jenny, he’s my nuisance,” I told me from the other side.
“It’s okay, this stuff happens all the time!”, I said, stepping out of the way so the guy could see me on the other side. Over there I was wearing a nifty red cheongsam that hugged me in all the best places and was slit way up, not the loose pants I had on here, and I figured he’d notice the difference. Also that I should go shopping for something sexy and silk, but later.
“No matter how often I see this, it’s still weird,” Kim remarked to Eric.
“Yeah, I believe it,” he agreed. “This is… pretty weird.”
“That’s a lesson for you, Tuólù,” I shouted, pointing dramatically. “I told you I’d punch you into another universe!”
“You, have struck me again!”, the martial artist declared. He took another pose and told me, “Unseen is, Butterfly Punch Technique!”
“And I’ll do it again if you don’t settle down and actually learn something!”, I yelled through the portal.
“Beware! The duck that quacks in the reeds!”
He rushed forward through the door and I saw myself take up a martial arts stance to receive him. Then the portal flickered closed, leaving only a bare brick wall.
“Heh, that was fun,” I said. It felt like I was going to handle the whole thing pretty easily, but this me was too many worlds away to catch any details now that I’d cut the connection.
“So… if I learn martial arts, is stuff like that going to happen to me?”, Eric wondered.
“No,” Kim said.
“Hardly ever,” I said.
“Although when you spend time with Jenny, yes, things like this will happen.” Kim said, smiling gently.
I could only nod.
