Driving to HAARP

[scott_sanford]

For a friend (she knows who she is): a trip to HAARP!

People talk about HAARP as if it's really exotic or something. It's a long way from damn near everything, but it's not on another planet or anything. No. You could go there, if you wanted to. Start this imaginary journey from Portland Oregon:

Get in your car, get on the highway, and drive north until your butt falls off.

Smile nicely to the customs folks as you cross the border; they're Canadian and underpaid. You can figure out the evolution from I-5 to BC-97 to BC-37 to AlCan on your own; enjoy many many miles of spectacularly scenic...scenery. About 2000 miles out of Portland you'll see some more customs guys telling you you're entering the US. Welcome back.

Another hour and a half will bring you to the bustling metropolis of Tok, population 1400. Turn left at Tok. Seriously, there aren't that many ways out of town by land and you just drove in past the airport, so take the first left after the Chevron station; that's the Glenn Highway. You're almost there!

Another hundred miles or so and you should keep an eye out for a multistory beige building on your right. Don't bother looking for armed guards, high security, or in fact a sign out front. HAARP doesn't have any of that, or a paved driveway. (They do at least have a chain link fence. With a gate! It probably keeps moose away from the mind-control rays or something.) That's where all the magic happens, folks.



You expected more Death Rays, maybe? (These images are courtesy of Google Maps, of course, and I encourage going to see for one's self.) Let's take a closer look.



Hm, no Martians to be seen; maybe they're inside with the Tesla Earthquake Machine. You can't see the antenna array from the road anyway; check out this aerial view of it:



That's it. That's the site that keeps conspiracy people busy in the Lower 48. Good thing they don't know about HIPAS outside Fairbanks, which has nearly twenty times the beam output power. Keep it quiet, okay?

Assuming you're not completely nuts, you are by now completely fed up with driving. So we'll take another route home. Keep going and only five miles past HAARP you'll see the town of Gakona, population 215; this is the 'city' that serves HAARP's needs. Not half an hour's drive past Gakona you'll hit Glennallen (pop 550); it's important to turn right here to follow the correct highway, lest your car be eaten by wolverines or something; the route that looks straight is really the Richardson Highway.

Barely another hundred miles will get you to the Knik River and then Anchorage. You miss Wasilla by about ten miles on the Glenn Highway; wave to Sarah Palin as you go past. Anchorage is over-supplied with airports; just pick one at random. Since you've trashed your car by driving over thousands of miles of unpaved road-like surfaces, sell it here for a ticket back to the Lower 48.

And there it is, a wonderful trip to see HAARP!

Comments

[travelswithkuma.livejournal.com]

Dids nots sees anys fishs. Whys goes ifs theres nos fishs?
Unless this thes thinys thats makes fishs jumps ins bears mouths?

[scott-sanford.livejournal.com]

Clever bear! No, HAARP has no fish. However, only a kilometer downhill is the Copper River, which sees two million salmon per year between May and October. Many Alaskan bears and humans eat lots of salmon in the summer.